Showered With Love

When I was first asked to pull together a list of people to celebrate with me I was at a loss. 

Family and a small circle of friends whom I do life with came to mind.  The list was small.

My far away heart family that has now become a little scattered (though our stories together all began in Utah) crossed my mind.  My heart always aches a little bit for them—joyful, sorrowful, and filled with loving prayers for their good.  It would be impossible for any of these to come. 

Yet, as I thought of these loved ones, I pulled out my address book and looked through to try to capture the many that have walked through different stages and events of life with me as friends, mentors and encouragers.  The list grew. 

I worried.  Would they wonder why I had invited them?  Would they want to come?

So as they all began trickling through the door on Sunday I was a bit overwhelmed by everything—the amazing food that had been labored over with love; so many dear ones in one place; so many gifts.  It felt like too much.  I had a hard time receiving.

How does one begin to drink all of it in?  How does one receive such a precious gift?

I was being showered with so much love.

I felt so undeserving of all this time, all these friends, all this love. 

I felt like I would burst from it all. 

(Truth be told, I did eventually—held close and heaving—late at night, long after it was all over.)

Now, I look back, reflect and realize a little bit more in my heart what I already know with my mind.

Grace is never earned or deserved.  It is a gift.

This shower, the people and presents—they were all a gift of love.  Grace.

The crazy part to me is that the blessing of love these dear ones poured out upon me and my little life of grace was just a small example of the way God loves and extends his grace to me. 

His love is wider and longer and higher and deeper than I can fully grasp.

I will keep trying to grasp it though. 

Perhaps the way we recieve is by living changed—bursting to overflowing with tears and joy and love and life again and again.

***

Grace and peace be ours in abundance as we receive grace as God’s gift to us.  As we are humbled by the way we don’t deserve any of it may our lives be lived overflowing with gratitude and filled with love.

Jessica :)