It is there.
It is somewhere in the midst of seeking how He is calling me to surrender that I realize His goodness.
It is in the way He is calling me to create time and space for Him this Lent that I realize that He cares for my every need.
The things He calls me to are not burdensome. They are freeing.
For it is out of examine, in this space, they come.
He has been with me here—considering heart and mind.
He has watched as I name the ugly—jealousy, selfishness, and fear.
He has seen me recognize the beautiful—joy, love, and hope.
He has been near as I identify exhaustion.
He is calling me towards freedom.
He says to me, “Jessica, surrender the places of fear and walk courageously beside Me. Trust Me and watch Me work.”
He says to me, “Jessica, see how exhausted you are? Make time to rest. Rest in My presence.”
I receive these words with gratitude.
I am overwhelmed by His love for me.
And I wonder. How does he know?
How does he know just how to meet my every need, in every season of this life?
I think of the Psalm I committed to memory long ago.
It used to hang in colorful letters, behind glitter, shimmering on my bedroom wall.
I wrote it so I would remember.
I consider the final words of the Psalm:
“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24
It is in this remembering these words I realize that Lent is learning to walk in the way everlasting.
He has searched and tested.
Now I will let him lead on—to repentance, to wholeness, to an abundantly good life.
Grace and peace be ours in abundance as we follow God’s leading this Lent. May we discover the way of Christ is toward repentance, walking in a new way. May we delight in the freedom it brings as we learn to live an abundant life.