Scripture Reads

It is an activity I have often led in leadership trainings and participated in while on retreats. 

Often it is called lectio divina. Yet, tonight as I sit at Last Wednesday, Chuck and Andrea don’t call it that.  Instead, they strip the practice down to its core and call it what it is—listening to God through His Word.

They teach.

He is always speaking through His Word. 

“For the word of God is alive and active.  Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”  Hebrews 4:12

As we read Scripture, Scripture is reading us, they say.

They challenge.

Do we take time to stop and listen to God in His Word?

They lead.

As an auditorium of many, we stop to practice. 

We read and listen for God to speak.

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for he who promised is faithful.  And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:23-25

As I read, it stands out to me like words bolded on the page, calling out to my heart: 

“Hold unswervingly to the hope” and “he who promised is faithful.”

In the minutes that follow I am invited to consider what God might be trying to say to me.  I read the passage again and the context provides the key to what I think God is trying to tell me.

I don’t really like it.  This is about my attitude, my bad attitude.  I can hold to it or I can hold unswervingly to my hope trusting that he who promises is faithful.

I sit in the midst of an unwelcome confrontation.  Will I receive what I think God is speaking to me?

At the moment, I think I am very happy with my bad attitude.  Will I let it go?

Chuck challenges us to “share what you think you heard with someone from your tribe and act on it” before we go to bed tonight.  He has already shared that it is often in sharing what we think we hear that we receive confirmation (“Yes that sounds like God based on His Word and character"), correction (“No that’s not God” or further insight), and encouragement.

I am not looking forward to this sharing, but I am determined to do it. 

On my way home, I try to brainstorm ways of avoiding this assignment altogether.  However, in the end, I realize I will either do it or not, with this task there is no half-way.

When Jason asks about Last Wednesday I dodge, preferring to listen to him share why he wasn’t able to come late like he hoped.

We carry on with what is left of our evening—comparing baby items online—until I finally work up the courage to share what I think I heard God say to me.

In this, I pour out what I’m ashamed to admit to him—my bad attitude spilling out real and ugly.  Somehow it seems even uglier when it is out in the open.  I think I’m beginning to recognize this attitude for what it really is—toxic.  When I think of this, I’m not quite so happy with it anymore.  

Still, I hold to it defiantly—waiting. 

I am waiting for the words of correction to painfully whip across my heart. 

Instead, my husband gracefully draws me close and speaks.  Far from stinging censure, his words are gentle, but pointed.  His words bring the perspective I need.  They help me see what I could not see before.  What he says changes everything.  

All at once, I am broken for the way I have been rigid, inflexible and critical.  I have been trying to control this situation and in doing so I have been everything but loving. 

After I take it all in, I turn toward Jason and apologize for how I have made things difficult for him.  The tears trickle as I tell him I want to be a helpful partner in the midst of this situation.  I tell him I want to respond compassionately and live trusting the Faithful One to work out all I hope for in the midst of something I am unable to control.

In the midst of this, he affirms me and gives me encouragement.

I look into his kind eyes and realize that my dread is gone.  The toxins have been drawn out.  I feel free somehow.  I find I am softened at heart and ready to respond to all that God has spoken to me.

I wonder at it all.

I walk upstairs to get ready for bed thankful and lifting up praise for the beginning of His transformation in me.

***

Grace and peace be ours in abundance as we listen to God—in His Word—seek counsel from our tribe, and follow where He leads.  May we find that He is good and works for ours.

Jessica :)

The Way Everlasting

It is there. 

It is somewhere in the midst of seeking how He is calling me to surrender that I realize His goodness.

It is in the way He is calling me to create time and space for Him this Lent that I realize that He cares for my every need.

The things He calls me to are not burdensome.  They are freeing. 

For it is out of examine, in this space, they come.

He has been with me here—considering heart and mind.

He has watched as I name the ugly—jealousy, selfishness, and fear.

He has seen me recognize the beautiful—joy, love, and hope.

He has been near as I identify exhaustion.

He is calling me towards freedom.

He says to me, “Jessica, surrender the places of fear and walk courageously beside Me.  Trust Me and watch Me work.”

He says to me, “Jessica, see how exhausted you are?  Make time to rest.  Rest in My presence.”

I receive these words with gratitude.

I am overwhelmed by His love for me. 

And I wonder.  How does he know? 

How does he know just how to meet my every need, in every season of this life?

I think of the Psalm I committed to memory long ago. 

It used to hang in colorful letters, behind glitter, shimmering on my bedroom wall.  

He knows me.

I wrote it so I would remember.

I consider the final words of the Psalm:

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”  Psalm 139:23-24

It is in this remembering these words I realize that Lent is learning to walk in the way everlasting. 

He has searched and tested. 

Now I will let him lead on—to repentance, to wholeness, to an abundantly good life.

***

Grace and peace be ours in abundance as we follow God’s leading this Lent.  May we discover the way of Christ is toward repentance, walking in a new way.  May we delight in the freedom it brings as we learn to live an abundant life.

Jessica :)

Dance of Love

This week I did a little writing in the midst of Last Wednesday worship.  I am always surprised at where God takes me when I write in the midst of corporate worship.  I shouldn’t be by now; He always leads me and my heart toward His. 

Is it possible—

you are making me new?

To become bold,

when I have lived timid;

To reach out,

            when I feel so painfully shy.

Eyes fixed on you

I join with all things to bless you, Creator.

To worship in humbleness.

Not noticing me, but all attention set on you

Responding to your goodness;

            to your voice,

                        drawing me forward

Ever toward faithfulness—

            always beyond

                        anything I could possibly do on my own.

You never leave me.

We do it together—

a dance of love.

***

Grace and peace be ours in abundance as we believe that when we come with willing hearts God is pleased to transform us, making us new.  May we find that we are drawn toward Christ with our eyes focused on Him allowing our transformation to take place as a dance of love, with all the glory going to Him.

Jessica :)

New Life Bursting Forth

On Thursdays I have been sharing a little bit about what I have been learning as I read through 1 John.

1 John is a letter written to the believers in Asia Minor.  John has been giving examples of what a believer who walks with God looks like.  He has been contrasting these believers with those who say that they walk with God, but whose actions and beliefs do not support their claims.  He calls these people liars and says they walk in darkness.  John wants the believers to be able to recognize the difference between that which is true and that which is false.  He pauses in this endeavor to encourage the believers he is writing to by reminding them of the joy, the power, and the faithfulness they have received from Christ.

Up to this point in 1 John I have been writing about a paragraph at a time.  For the next three weeks, rather than one really long post, I am going to explore one verse at a time.  I put all three here so that you can read the verse in context. 

“Do not love the world or anything in the world.  If you love the world, love for the Father is not in you.  For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful people, the lust of their eyes and their boasting about what they have and do—comes not from the Father but from the world.  The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.”  1 John 2:15-17 TNIV

 

In this section, John resumes his use of contrasting language.

“Do not love the world or anything in the world.  If you love the world, love for the Father is not in you.”

When I read verse 15, I pause, because it seems like the language is rather strong.

Love the world or anything in the world?  What is so wrong with that?

I love the beauty of the created world.  Something about mountains and lakes and canyons and wildflowers just fills me with such joy and awe.  I love it.  I love sitting beside friends and laughing with them.  I love hearing them tell a good story.  I love watching the way they grow and change.  I love them.  I love curling up with a good book.  I love getting caught up in a story or following the fresh ideas that inspire me to think or change.  I love these things and consider them gifts from a good God.  Am I wrong for loving them?

I admit there are also things in the world that I definitely do not love.  I do not love the political stand-offs that it seems like I hear about all the time on the radio.  I do not love watching the ways we pillage the earth in seemingly unsustainable ways.  I do not love the physical and spiritual poverty that I see all over the world.  I do not love the brokenness of this place.

So what is John trying to say?  Is he trying to say all of these things are bad?  Or is there something I am missing?

These questions lead me to explore the Greek words.

It is not a surprise to find the word for love here is agapaō (verb) in the first instance, agapē (noun) in the second.  This is the word that is used in the New Testament "to describe the attitude of God towards his Son, the human race, and those who believe in Christ."  This love is the kind that seeks the welfare of all.  It works no ill to any and seeks opportunity to do good (VINES Expository Dictionary).

The word that is really helpful is the word for world.  It is kosmos.  There are a number of different definitions for the word.  The one that makes the most sense for the context here is “the present condition of human affairs in alienation and opposition to God” (VINES Expository Dictionary).

It seems to me this definition captures the contrasting language that John has been using throughout the letter.  It is also helpful for understanding what John is trying to say.

It isn’t wrong to care for the beautiful gifts from God in this world.  It is the fallen condition of the world that I should not love.  It is the things that draw me away from love for God that I should not love.  It is the things that stand opposed to Him that I should not care for.  It is when I love these things that love for the Father is not in me.

I think The Message translates this idea well: “Love of the world squeezes out love for God.”

I don’t ever want to become numb to the brokenness of the world.  I don’t want to love the brokenness.  I don’t want to seek opportunity for its good. 

When I first read this verse I really think I don’t love the world.  I don’t love the brokenness.  I think it is an honest thought at the moment.  On some level, I believe this is true.  Yet, the more I reflect, I realize that this is not always true of me.  At least some of my actions suggest that I do love the world.  I hear of things like the wildfires in the west and the shooting in Aurora, CO and I find that I’m not as upset as I should be.  I read the headlines on the gossip magazines as I wait in line at the store, too often, and find myself greedily eating up the tragedy in the lives of the famous on the covers.  Too often, I choose to catch up on the television show I enjoy over spending time reading and talking, for just a few minutes in God’s Word, with my husband.  These sorts of things are not true all the time, nor even most of the time, but enough to make me see it is easy for the love of the world to squeeze out love for God.  And this is not even an exhaustive list! 

Truly, love for both the world and God cannot coexist.  We love one at a time—either God or the world.

What I really want is to let my love for the Father to give me the proper lens to understand and respond to the brokenness.  I want to respond to Him.  I want to love like Him in the midst of a broken place.  I want to bring His grace and peace into places that really need them. 

Instead of the love of the world that squeezes out the love for God, I want the love of God which fills up and pours out on the brokenness of the world.  Because truly that is what a broken world needs.  It needs the water that pours out over the cracked cement and causes new life to burst forth in the midst of brokenness, bearing hope. 

He can do that in me.  He can do that in us.

Let’s leave behind the love of the world.  Let’s respond to the love of God. 

***

Grace and peace be ours in abundance as we choose to love God, leaving love for the world behind.  May we discover that in God’s love we better serve a broken world than we do by loving the brokenness in it.  May we live joyously allowing God to fill us up and pour out of us causing new life to burst forth from brokenness.

Jessica :)

P.S.  A link to VINE's Expository Dictionary online is here if you would like to look up the words for yourself.