Journeying Towards Wholeness

Jason and I are in the middle of moving into our new home.  As we do this we are also participating in “A Journey Home” with our family at Crossroads.  I am sharing a little bit about how the physical and the spiritual are matching up in life right now as we do both.  I hope we will all grow in the midst of this journey home. 

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This week, the large Bradford pear tree that was in front of our new home was taken down by a contractor.  The tall maple or oak in the backyard (I forget which, since I can’t yet look out the window to see it yet) was pruned.  These things needed to be done because they were causing damage to the roof—rubbing shingles away and allowing for water to seep in where it should not.

Like the tree rubbing on the roof, when we consider the way we operate and think about the world, sometimes we are surprised by the way we are affected by them.  This is what we explored during the small group experience of A Journey Home this week.

Jason and I gathered together with a group of couples whom we had never met before at Crossroads.  Our group was full of couples from different stages of life.  There was an engaged couple, several couples with young families, one couple with grandkids and then Jason and I, who are in-between all these.

As I think of it, I smile remembering the good fun of introducing ourselves with English accents and comparing the lengths of our thumbs.  I marvel at the way each person opened up to share deeply personal things about the stuff in life that keep us from feeling at home.  I have only known these people for a week and I already feel close to them.  I look forward to spending more time together with them.

I think about the descriptions list we were asked to consider.  I circled a lot.

 

We were instructed to pick one to explore.  I chose “I often feel jealous.”  My group asked me the question “Why” again and again to help me dig down to a place I’ve visited before, but need to be reminded of again and again.  At the bottom of my jealousy is the fear that God’s goodness is exclusive.  If he is good to someone else, he couldn’t possibly be good to me. 

Of course, this is not true.  But it is a lie I slip into believing if I am not careful.  I tell my group this.

I am sometimes jealous of the fruit in others lives because I do not bear the same fruit in mine.  The most freeing thing is when I stop to realize that these wonderful people are being who God created them to be and reaping the fruit of living surrendered and fully His. 

I can celebrate with others without the need to be jealous because I can live the same way—resting surrendered in God’s truth and love.  I will bear fruit too.  My fruit will be different than theirs, because I am a different person whose personality and gifts will combine in different ways.  This is okay.  It is also as it should be.

I repeat the truth to myself.   

“The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.”  Psalm 145:9

God’s goodness to others does not mean he will not be good to me.

I begin to take some thoughts captive and set the truth firmly planted in my heart.

It’s like the Bradford pear tree, really.  The contractors cut it down, but the stump was still there.  It was no longer causing damage, but a remnant was still noticeable from time to time.  The contractors came back today and ground it down to the ground.  They got rid of what was there so that something else can grow there later.

I wonder, as I dig out the roots of this falsehood, what beautiful truth-loving thing will begin to grow?

The spot in our yard will be filled with a native Ohio tree. 

Maybe the one in my heart will be full of a deep joyous love.

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Grace and peace be our in abundance as we seek to replace lies we have bought into with the truth that God tells us is real.  As we do may we live free—freely surrendered in His presence, resting in His love.  May we reap the fruit of living as the person God has created us to be.

Jessica :)