Where Are You?

She slips from my lap and picks up her Jesus Storybook Bible.*  She hands it to me, saying, “Carry please, Mama.”

I say, “Sure!” as we head out the gate and toward the bathroom.

She settles in on the floor as I pull out a floss pick. 

She calls out to me, “Papa?  Where are you?”

Photo by David Barless, used with permission.

I know just what she is referring to.  They are words from the story of the crucifixion.  I turn around and face her on the floor, flipping to the familiar illustration.  (Jesus is on the cross, battered and bruised with a crown of thorns on his head and a tear falling from his eye.  Above him a sign reads “Our King.”)

She turns her head toward mine with a familiar request on her lips. “Read.”

I pull her up on my lap, there on the bathroom floor, and begin halfway through the story.

“They nailed Jesus to the cross.

“Father forgive them,” Jesus gasped.  “They don’t understand what they’re doing.”

“You say you’ve come to rescue us!” people shouted.  “But you can’t even rescue yourself!”

But they were wrong.  Jesus could have rescued himself.  A legion of angels would have flown to his side—if he’d called.

“If you were really the Son of God, you could just climb down off that cross!”  they said.

And of course they were right.  Jesus could have just climbed down.  Actually, he could have just said a word and made it all stop.  Like when he healed that little girl.”    - The Jesus Storybook Bible, p. 304

Here we pause.  

We revisit the story that we read the night before in the front room.  Jairus, the little girl’s daddy had come to Jesus.  I ask if she remembers how Jesus went to the little girl and called her from death to life saying, “Honey, it’s time to get up.”  She nods and says, “Breakfast.”  "Yes,"  I affirm.  “He asks her if she would like some breakfast.  How about you?  Are you hungry for breakfast?” I ask her with a little smile and a friendly poke.

She says again, “Read.”  And so I do. 

“He could have just said a word and made it all stop.  Like when he healed that little girl.  And stilled the storm.  And fed 5,000 people. 
But Jesus stayed.

You see, they didn’t understand.  It wasn’t the nails that kept Jesus there.  It was love.”  - The Jesus Storybook Bible, p. 304

It was love.  I pause here.  I soak it in. 

The nails in his hands.  The nails in his feet.  The thorns.  The shame.  They speak of his love. 

He could have made it stop.  But he didn’t. 

The people didn’t understand, then. 

Do I understand, now? 

I don’t know.

I keep reading.

“Papa?” Jesus cried, frantically searching the sky.

“Papa?  Where are you?  Don’t leave me!”

And for the first time—and the last—when he spoke, nothing happened.  Just a horrible endless silence.  God didn’t answer.  He turned away from his Boy.  – The Jesus Storybook Bible, p. 304

Oh, this moment. 

I think of my Little Love and the way she often calls out playfully from her room these days, “Daddy, where are you?” 

She knows her daddy will come looking for her.  She expects it.  She looks forward to it.  It brings her comfort, peace and such joy to know her daddy will respond. 

Here, Jesus’ daddy doesn't respond.  The Father turns his face away.  He turns away from the Son He loves.  With the picture of my girl in my mind, I find my heart breaking.  Oh, this moment.

“Tears rolled down Jesus’ face.  The face of the One who would wipe away every tear from every eye.” – The Jesus Storybook Bible, p. 304

My Little Love, she looks at with me with concern written all over her face and says, “Cryin'.”  Yes, dear.  Crying.

I can’t imagine she grasps the fullness of this, yet.  How could she?  I am still not sure I do.  But it is amazing to me that she does get that this is a moment to pause.  She tenderly wants to reach out in comfort as she sees Jesus’ hurting face and hears of His tears.

We turn the page.

“Even though it was midday, a dreadful darkness covered the face of the world.  The sun could not shine.  The earth trembled and quaked.  The great mountains shook.  Rocks split in two.  Until it seemed that the whole world would break.  That creation itself would tear apart.

The full force of the storm of God’s fierce anger at sin was coming down.  On his own Son.  Instead of his people.  It was the only way God could destroy sin, and not destroy his children whose hearts were filled with sin.”  -The Jesus Storybook Bible, p.306 

As I read of this storm raging, I feel it.  I feel so very aware of the many ways I have messed up and do mess up—so very aware of the sinful heart that God was seeking to save.  I think of the words of Paul: “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”  -2 Corinthians 5:21, ESV  

God loved his creation—the people made in his image—so much that he was willing to give his Son to destroy sin and not his children whose hearts were filled with it.  How deep the Father’s love for us. 

How deep the Father’s love for me.  The thought makes me tremble inside.

Then Jesus shouted in a loud voice, “It is finished!”

And it was.  He had done it.  Jesus had rescued the whole world.

“Father!” Jesus cried.  “I give you my life.”

Strange clouds and shadows filled the sky.  Purple, orange, black.  Like a bruise.

Jesus friends gently carried Jesus.  They laid Jesus in a new tomb carved out of rock.

How could Jesus die?  What had gone wrong?  What did it mean?  They didn’t know anything anymore.  Except they did know their hearts were breaking.” –The Jesus Storybook Bible, p. 306

Jesus speaks words of power. And then he dies? This doesn’t really seem like a rescue. 

The storm that has been raging suddenly seems to calm—like when Jesus stilled the storm.  Yet this calm seems awful and ugly.  I feel numb. 

In this moment, I am with the disciples wondering, “How could this happen?  Wasn’t Jesus the Rescuer?  The King God had promised?  It wasn’t supposed to end like this.”*  

Then, I remember.  It doesn’t end like this.
 

Jesus is not dead.  He is alive!

I look at my Little Love and tell her, “It doesn’t end here!  Jesus rises.  He is alive!”  She giggles.

It was for the joy that was set before him that Jesus endured the cross—the joy of relationship with us, the joy of relationship with me. 

I think of the lyrics from Matt Maher’s song 'Christ is Risen': “Oh death!   Where is your sting?  Oh hell!  Where is your victory?  Oh church!  Come stand in the light!  Our God is not dead.  He’s alive!  He’s alive!”

I smile and pull her close saying, “This is good news!”

She wiggles out of my arms.  I let go of her and stand up, turning towards the sink to grab my tooth brush. 

I notice the morning sun shining.  Its bright light is pouring in right where I am standing; and I can't help but continue to hum to myself, "He's alive!  He's alive!"

***

“Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.” –Jude 1:24-25, KJV

***

Grace and peace be ours in abundance this Good Friday as we remember the depth of the Father’s love for us and this Easter as we remember—Jesus is risen, He is risen, indeed!  May we take joy in the hope that we have through His death and resurrection.  When we come to Him, Jesus takes our sinful hearts and presents us faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy.   We are so very loved.

Jessica :)

P.S.  I highly recommend The Jesus Storybook Bible if you do not already own a copy.  It is published by Zondervan. © 2012. The story referenced throughout this post is called 'The sun stops shining,' pages 302-309.  The thoughts I shared along with the disciples are from p. 310.

The photos in this post are from Badlands National Park, South Dakota in July 2010.  We got up to watch the sunrise.  The first two were taken by Jason and the third by me. 

Behold, The Lamb

We sit listening to her Daddy read.

“It was Passover, the time when God’s people remembered how God had rescued them from being slaves in Egypt.  Every year they killed a lamb and ate it.” -The Jesus Storybook Bible, 286.

At the word “lamb” she begins to chirp with excitement.  “Baa!  Baa!  Baa!” 

“Yes, dear.  The lamb does say “baa”,” I respond with a smile.

Her Daddy continues to read.

““The lamb died instead of us!” they would say.” -The Jesus Storybook Bible, 286.

She shouts her refrain with glee.  “Baa!  Baa!  Baa!”

Yes, dear.  The Lamb. 

You have got it!  The Lamb. 

He is the one in this story to pay attention to.

Daddy continues to read.  My girl continues to “baa.”  I sit in wonder considering this Lamb.

This Holy Week began with whispered prayers about how to lead this Little Love of not quite eleven months to consider what was important this week.  I find now that she is reminding me.  “Baa!  Baa!  Baa!”  The Lamb.  She knows it.  Do I know it?

My husband is still reading.

“Then Jesus picked up some bread and broke it.  He gave it to his friends.  He picked up a cup of wine and thanked God for it.  He poured it out and shared it.  “My body is like this bread.  It will break,” Jesus told them.  “This cup of wine is like my blood.  It will pour out.  But this is how God will rescue the whole world.  My life will break and God’s broken world will mend.  My heart will tear apart—and your hearts will heal.  Just as the passover lamb died, so now I will die instead of you.  My blood will wash away all of your sins.  And you’ll be clean on the inside—in your hearts.  So whenever you eat and drink, remember,” Jesus said, “I’ve rescued you.”  -The Jesus Storybook Bible, 292.

I think of the lamb in the thicket, rescuing Isaac.  This rescue involved a family.

I think of the blood of the Passover lambs above the doorposts in Egypt.  This rescue involved a nation.

I think of John the Baptist’s words about Jesus:  “Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!”  This rescue is for the world.

I think of Isaiah 53.

"Who has believed our message
    and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
He grew up before him like a tender shoot,    and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
    nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by mankind,
    a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
    he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.

Surely he took up our pain
    and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
    stricken by him, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
    and by his wounds we are healed.We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
    each of us has turned to our own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
    the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed and afflicted,
    yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
    and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
    so he did not open his mouth.
By oppression and judgment he was taken away.
    Yet who of his generation protested?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
    for the transgression of my people he was punished.
He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
    and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
    nor was any deceit in his mouth.

Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
    and though the Lord makes his life an offering for sin,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
    and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand.
After he has suffered,
    he will see the light of life and be satisfied;
by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,
    and he will bear their iniquities.
Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,
    and he will divide the spoils with the strong,
because he poured out his life unto death,
    and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
    and made intercession for the transgressors."

This is what we remember this week—the rescue that comes through the death of Jesus, the Lamb, on the cross.  Yet, this rescue doesn’t end in death, but resurrection!  Jesus has victory over death.  We remember this too.  He is who He says He is, God.

I think of the scene John describes in the throne room of heaven. 

"Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders.  In a loud voice they were saying:

“Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain,
    to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength
    and honor and glory and praise!”

 Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, saying:

“To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb
    be praise and honor and glory and power,
for ever and ever!”

 The four living creatures said, “Amen,” and the elders fell down and worshiped."  - Revelation 5:11-14

Somehow, in these words, I can picture the voice of my Little Love calling out “Baa!  Baa!  Baa!”

Yes, Little One.  

Behold, the Lamb and worship Him.

***

This is a repost from the archives.  It still amazes me the way God uses my Little Love to draw me nearer to him.  I hope you have enjoyed remembering with me.  A new post will be up tomorrow about how God is using this Little Love to draw me into His presence as we move toward Easter right now. 

***

Grace and peace be ours in abundance as we behold the Lamb who was slain, the Lamb who lives!  May we give thanks for the redemption that comes through Christ and worship with every breath and action of our lives.

Jessica :)


P.S.  Behold the Lamb.  Remember and worship Him today.  

I highly recommend this Matt Maher album.  It is one of my favorites and is a great a Lenten and Holy Week album. 

Freedom Calls

I wrote a poem in response to reading Isaiah 25 a few months back.  The joy and freedom seem especially appropriate to me for this Easter season.  

“The unassailable fortifications of your walls He will bring down, lay low and cast to the ground, even to the dust”  Isaiah 25:12  

I peek out from behind the citadel

In hopeful wonder, I hear His words:

“Let’s break down the walls!

Come to the feast!

(A place where the fear, the schedules, the life, the friendships

                are handed over to One who knows the way to thrive.)

Come eat! 

Come drink!

Come LIVE! 

Come enjoy! 

Come trust me with all things—the cares, the woes, the joys and sorrows, the dreams!”

Could there really be a place for me

At such a table, so full and inviting?

I hear Him now,

Freedom calls.

He says,

“Come out!”  

I pause and call,

“What if I can’t—

The locks, rusty and old. 

Will you…

Can you break me out like a maid trapped in a fairy tale?”

“Oh yes!”

He responds.

“The stones will roll at my command.”

“Then break away!

I want to sit with you at your table today!”

I say with longing delight.

A voice rumbles like thunder

The walls!

They fall down!

He is running toward me.

I am running toward Him.

We meet in His wide open arms.

He holds me close and whispers

Of the journey ahead

The way out through the rubble all around.

“Stay close!  Walk near! 

There will be nothing to fear

Though the way may be treacherous all ‘round.

In freedom, now walk!

Follow me, Dear.

You’ll know the way by My path of Light.

Ever closer you’ll shine because you are Mine.

A beacon to draw others near.

We’ll be a winsome, formidable pair

Speak to them of freedom and peace. 

Invite them to the feast.

It will be a lavish banquet—

A wedding celebration.

The guests once Lost in darkness, now Found in Light.

Those once Least, greeted joyously in places of Honor.”

“It sounds so marvelous.”

I muse.

We’ll tell the story of Love.

Then we’ll dance,

Him and me.

Evermore and evermore.

***

Grace and peace be ours in abundance as we allow Christ to cause the walls of pain and hurt and sin to fall down.  May we find Him holding us steady and with Him freedom that is full of love.  May we walk with Him sharing the story of Love He has written on our hearts.

Jessica :)

P.S.  The really fun photo is courtesy of my husband and his trip to Krakow, Poland.  It is a photo from his tour of Wawel Castle.

Epic of Eden: A Book Review

When you think of the Bible does the word epic come to mind?

I recently finished a book called Epic of Eden, by Sandra L. Richter. 

This fall two of my lovely friends and I took up the endeavor to read the book together.  We read and discussed.  We tried to drink in the content and let it change us.

Epic of Eden has the subtitle “A Christian Entry into the Old Testament.”  It is that.  It provides a framework for understanding the patriarchal, patrilineal, and patrilocal culture of the Ancient Middle East, as well as an understanding of the geography of the Fertile Crescent, Palestine, and Egypt. 

Understanding the context in which the Old Testament takes place is critical, since often times we readers bring our own experiences and biases from our own upbringing and cultural understanding when we sit down to read the Bible.  If we do not understand the context we readers, who come from a modern Western background, might find stories odd and disturbing because we lack the information that make sense of that which is strange and foreign to us; and in the midst of our own biases we may miss the critiques of culture that are being pointed out in some instances or the provisions of God’s generosity in others.

Richter tackles the ideas of redemption and covenant, by explaining their significance in the broader culture of the Ancient Middle East.  In doing this, she highlights how God uses these cultural customs to reveal himself in an epic way through Israel’s history.

After setting the stage with this background, we began to explore creation and God’s intent for humanity.  It is a beautiful picture.  We looked at how the story is headed towards a restoration to God’s original intent; and what follows is the unfolding history of a God who works to redeem humanity.  He works through a man, a family, a nation, to draw all people to Himself.

Richter uses several patriarchal figures of the Old Testament to set up a basis for understanding the history of the Old Testament—Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses, and David.  These men are used to define different periods of time in Israel’s history and to describe the significance of how God is working toward reconciliation with humanity in the midst of these times. 

The insights along the way have been enlightening.

When my friends and I began to read this fall, it was my third time to begin Epic of Eden.  As much as admitting that may not lend itself to seeming like a good read, I promise that has never been the case!   

I truly have enjoyed rereading all of it, each time, because it has deepened my understanding of Scriptural context in a way reading it once would not have accomplished.  I have also found with each reading, Jason and I have been in different locations of the Old Testament reading Scripture together; and each time it has seemed to match up perfectly with the content of the book to lead me to a deeper understanding of the character of God and his love for humanity.  I could not have orchestrated that and count it as a gift.

Recently, Jason and I have been reading through 1 & 2 Samuel and 1 & 2 Kings.  (We will soon get to 1 & 2 Chronicles!)  This was very appropriate as I was reading about David and the monarchy in Israel.  There was so much that I did not understand about the distinctions of the role of a prophet, priest, and king in the midst of the monarchy in Israel. 

The priest was to speak for the people to God.  The prophet was to speak God’s word to the king and the people.  The king was to know God’s law, and lead the people by example in relationship and devotion to God. 

What made David a good king was not that David was perfect.  He definitely was not.  However, he loved God and sought to serve Him.  When he did not follow God’s law, he listened to the word of the prophet and was repentant.  In reading, both Epic of Eden and Scripture it seems to me that it was David’s repentant heart that was special.  David was receptive to what God was saying; and it his response to God that sets David apart from all the other kings.  This is why he is the standard.

The words about each new king introduced in 1 & 2 Kings say something about the king’s heart and the way he leads God’s people.  They are either like David or not. 

“[Abijam] walked in all the sins of his father which he had committed before him; and his heart was not wholly devoted to the Lord his God, like the heart of his father David.” 1 Kings 15:3

“Asa did what was right in the sight of the Lord, like David his father.” 1 Kings 15:11

“[Hezekiah] did right in the sight of the Lord according to all that his father David had done” 2 Kings 18:3

There are many instances where the Kings of Israel and Judah are compared to the example of a bad king (usually from Israel) as well.  These are in contrast with David.

In the past, I read through the parade of kings noticing a king’s behavior but not really understanding the full picture of what God was doing.  (I still probably don’t see the whole picture, but more of it.)  What I have seen is that God responds to His people based on the way they keep their covenant with Him.  If they follow the covenant, they live in peace in the land.  If they do not live according to the covenant, they are attacked by foreign nations and the land (or a portion of it) is taken from them.  It is fascinating to watch God’s consistency, His patience, His mercy—even with the worst of Judah’s and Israel’s kings.

As I have read, there is something else I have been learning.  Understanding the Old Testament is key to a deepening understanding of the gospel.  It is important to understand that Jesus is the fulfillment of the promises made to God’s people.  Jesus’ claims are tied to these Old Testament promises where God is calling all people to Himself in a kingdom.  Jesus’ death and resurrection prove his identity as King.  The New Testament is in this regard about the fulfillment of God’s promises in Christ and learning to live under His kingship.  It is a call to live in reliance upon God, trusting Him. 

I can’t think of a book that I would recommend more highly.  Epic of Eden will deepen your understanding of Scripture and God’s heart toward people.  I invite you to stop by and borrow a copy if you are in the area.  If you are not in the area, you might consider ordering it.*  I would love to sit down for a chat to hear what you are learning if you do!

***

Grace and peace be ours in abundance as we open up the Bible and drink heartily of God’s word to us.  May we find that it excites in us a posture of loving obedience to the heart of God.

Jessica :)

P.S.  I am so sorry if you stopped by last week looking for a post.  I got carried away with getting ready for our Little Love and found that the day slipped away.  That may happen again in the near future when she actually arrives and we try to find our bearings around here.  I will try to do a better job of communicating when that happens if I can.  Thank you so much for grace!

*Jus in case you are wondering, I am not receiving any compensation by linking you to order here.  I am just providing access to this resource.

For Always

Inspiration came as I was doing the dishes while listening to Matt Maher’s Alive Again album a couple of weeks ago.  I sat down during ‘Garden’ and began writing this.  I love it.  I can just imagine Jesus’ words to me in the midst of this season of resurrection.  I think of the story from fall to eternity and I am amazed at the love of God for man, for me.  Enjoy!

Redemption, Love.

Restoration, Love.

That is where we’re headed, Love.

We've traveled a painful road, Love.

But there’s beauty ahead, Love.

We’ll replace the ashes with fruit from the trees

And be full, Love.

Ever what I’ve wanted;

It’s what you’ve been made for all along.

Together, Love.

For always

  

***

Grace and peace be ours in abundance as we receive the gift of love we have been offered in Christ and respond to it.  May we find that we live abundantly a quality of LIFE we’ve been made for all along as we trust God in the midst of all things.

Jessica :)

Acquitted

I just want to share the song I’ve been singing this week as the church remembers the scandalous beauty of God’s love for us—Christ’s death and resurrection.  It is a song by Jeremy Riddle and it's called Acquitted. 

Blessings to you as you remember His death and celebrate His resurrection.

***

Grace and peace be ours in abundance as we receive this gift of love.

Jessica :)

To Bring Us Home

It has been quiet around here for awhile. 

Over the last two months Jason and I have been making ourselves a little more at home in our new house.  In truth, Jason has done much of the work.  I have helped to rearrange a little, while being otherwise consumed with the fullness of real life--Christmas letters, baking, meeting neighbors, spending time with family and the normal daily things one does like making dinner and cleaning the house.  All this has been in the midst of pregnancy exhaustion.  It has been good and God has been good in the midst of all of it.

This time of learning to be at home in our new home makes me think of one of the ponderings for me this December as we celebrated Christmas.  Christ came to bring us home.

When I was at the Allume conference in October, one of my favorite sessions was one I didn’t expect to go to.  It was led by Laura Booz of 10 Million Miles and PennsValleyFamily.com.  I found most of the session wasn’t applicable to what I saw myself doing on the blog, but for five minutes God used her to speak straight to my heart about His heart.

Laura talked about the three parables in Luke 15—the lost sheep, the lost coin, and the man with two sons. 

Of the shepherd she noted how he left the ninety-nine to go after the one.  She described how he said “I am going to go and be with you.  I am going to bring you home.”

Of the woman who stops to look for the coin, she described the woman’s tenacity.  “I’m going to be with you—search every nook and cranny until I find you.  I’m going to bring you back home.”

Of the Father she describes how he’s looking and he sees his lost son returning home and he runs to him.  He says, “I’m going to be with you, to welcome you.  I’m going to bring you home.” Then when he throws the party for this young son he notices the absence of his eldest son.  Then, too, he goes out to him.  He goes to be with him.  He goes to bring him home.

This is the heart of God.

So Christ comes. 

He comes to fulfill God’s promises.   

He comes to be Emmanuel—“God with us.”  

He comes to do what we could not do for ourselves.  

He comes to live a life obedient to the Father as His treasured child. 

He comes to live among us differently.

He comes to offer himself up for our sins, trusting in God’s goodness.  And God raises Him up from death to life.  He raises him up as an example of how we should live—lovingly and sacrificially as His treasured children.

In Christ, God comes to be with us.  He comes to bring us home.

It has been a month of seeking to receive this amazing gift.  It has been a month of resting in God’s love. It has been a month of seeking to share this gift with others.  It has been a month of living at home.

Now that we are mostly settled at home, I am hoping to be writing in this space again each week.  I am still praying through exactly what that looks like.  I plan to figure that out along the way.

I do know that I look forward to sharing this becoming journey of living at home in the Father's love with you in this New Year.

***

Grace and peace be ours in abundance as we receive the gift of the God who came to bring us home.  May we find that it leads us to a life long journey of becoming more and more like Him and living under the banner of His love.

Jessica :)

P.S.  I want to share a video with you of what it might be like to come home and live in the Father's love.  This is a video that Crossroads did in their series called A Journey Home.  It is an imagining of what the morning after the lost son returns home to his father is like.  Receive it as a gift.