Of Strong Ankles, Fullness of Life, and His Perfect Way

I have been in the midst of the BRAVE journey with Crossroads and many other churches in our city.  This week I spent some time meditating as a part of a group work challenge.  There were two other options that probably would have stretched me in terms of experience a little bit more, but I didn’t have time to do them before the first of my groups met on Tuesday morning.  So I went with a practice that I enjoy and practice more regularly than the other options presented. 

***

The instructions are to pick up to five passages from a list of about ten.  I begin looking at the list and quickly find myself reciting most of the Scriptures based only on their location.  I come to the last one Psalm 18:30-36.  I am not familiar with this passage at all.  I think to myself, “I guess this is the one I’ll use.”  To be honest, I am feeling a bit obstinate and based on the other passages in the mix I have no clue how this Psalm could possibly relate to me and the area of my life God has been inviting me to be BRAVE in. 

I grab my Bible, open it up and began to read.

“As for God, his way is perfect:
    The Lord’s word is flawless;
    he shields all who take refuge in him.

For who is God besides the Lord?
    And who is the Rock except our God?
It is God who arms me with strength
    and keeps my way secure.
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
    he causes me to stand on the heights.
He trains my hands for battle;
    my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
You make your saving help my shield,
    and your right hand sustains me;
    your help has made me great.
You provide a broad path for my feet,
    so that my ankles do not give way.”

                                                -Psalm18:30-36 (NIV)

It is when I reach this last verse that I stop in wonder: “You provide a broad path for my feet, so that my ankles do not give way.” 

God gently reaches down into my proud and skeptical heart and sets me straight.

In that one line he reminds me of what he has done in my life and what he wants to do as I trust him right now.

Once upon a time, my left ankle gave out again and again.  Three times in six months when I was a sophomore in high school; again in my senior year; and then four years later as I was looking forward to a honeymoon full of hiking.  With several of the sprains, including the last one, nothing happened to jar my ankle. I took a step or shifted my weight and it just gave way.

It was a time when I was so fearful.  After the last sprain, I remember wearing my air cast weeks after the six weeks it was to be worn were over.  I didn’t want to be using crutches on my wedding day.  I worried over the hiking that Jason and I would be doing—would my ankle just roll while were out?  The image of feeling of my ankle collapsing, the icky sound and the pain played over and over again in my mind.  It was awful. 

Now, in this moment God is reminding me of that time in my life. 

He is reminding me of how He met me there and healed me.  Through a time of unexpected prayer for healing He gave me back my ankle. 

I remember how for months afterwards, I had a hard time leaving that image behind me.  I didn’t know what healing looked like.  I kept wondering if it would be the next hike or simply walking down the sidewalk that my ankle would roll.  Even now, if I let myself, I can still hear the sound, picture the rolling, and feel the pain.  The memory is one full of fear.

It has only been trusting God’s healing one day at a time that has brought me to a new place, a better place, a freer place.  I walk with my family and speak praise when my ankle begins to roll and instead of buckling it corrects and holds strong.  Instead of walking in fear, I walk in His power.

In this moment I am wowed.  I reminded of all he has done for me.  I am led to a place of gratitude.  This is really how God wants me to come to Him and His Word--with praise for what He has done in my life and expecting Him to act in my life right now--ready to receive the His good gifts.  I read the passage again.

At first I see more feet.  “He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he causes me to stand on the heights.”  What agility a deer has!  What beauty can be seen from the heights!  I think of places I have hiked.  The views I have seen.  It is in His perfect way and in His security I stand on those heights.  What new heights might He be leading me to climb?

Then, I notice how He trains me.  “He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze.”  I imagine what that is like and I feel energized, ready, empowered.

He not only trains, He protects.  “You make your saving help my shield, and your right hand sustains me.”  I feel upheld in the midst of difficulty.

I read, “Your help has made me great.”  David, who wrote this Psalm recognizes that he is not just surviving.  God is doing something bigger than he could do himself.  God's help has made him great.  I tend to think about how it is God who is great and he is.  But it seems God wants to do great things in us too.  I can’t help but wonder if this is all part of his plan to reveal his glory.  That is a new thought.  He wants me to be great with his help and by his power, not apart from it.  I do not think of myself as great.  What might greatness look like in my life?

Then, those words again!  “You provide a broad path for my feet so that my ankles do not give way.”

For whatever reason, I think about the words of Jesus that say “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.  But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”  (Matthew 7:13-14)  What amazes me is that God’s perfect way, this narrow road that leads to life, is broad enough.  It is a sure path.  It is a good path!  This is not about pain or failure or fear.  This is about healing and wholeness and good in my life! 

I look back to the beginning again.  “As for God, his way is perfect:  The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him.  For who is God besides the Lord?  And who is the Rock except our God?  It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure.”

And I wonder what it looks like to take refuge in God in the fullness of life anyway.  I sit and consider this for awhile.  As I do words well up.

I wiggle and squirm

With thoughts of dishes and dinner undone.

It is here you invite me to sit

In Your presence. 

{Held}

It is here you remind me

You are

Refuge.

Rock.

Right here in the fullness of my life

Not apart from it.

You are inviting me

into

Your

perfect

way.

The path is wide

So that my ankles will not give way.

I begin to realize that it is in the midst of my full life God wants to remind me of who he is.  It is in the midst of my full life that God wants to lead me to stand on the heights.  It is in the midst of my full life He trains me so that I am energized, equipped, empowered—ready for all He leads me toward.  In the midst of my full life He protects and upholds me.  In the midst of my full life He leads me towards a greatness that reveals His glory.  In the midst of my full life He is leading me towards wholeness, healing and good.  He is my Rock.  He is my refuge and by His power He keeps my way secure.  

I rest in all of this, thankful.

I feel invited to step out into his perfect way, knowing the path is wide so my ankles will not give way.

***

Grace and peace be ours in abundance as we allow God to meet us right where we are at—in the fullness of our life—and lead us into his perfect way.  May we learn to step with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  The path is wide and our ankles will not give way.

Jessica :)

P.S.  The photo was taken during a trip to Canyonlands National Park during the first year we lived in Utah.

Grace and Peace

It is the third time I walk up the stairs to her room in fifteen minutes. 

The first had been a triple whammy that took me off guard in about two or three seconds—smacking my face, quickly followed by grabbing the glasses off of my face in anger and putting her foot into the potty (which was fortunately empty)—just as we were about to pull up her pants. 

The second time I came up the stairs, I sat with her discussing what had just happened.  After she owned that she smacked her mother, pulled the glasses from my face and put her foot in the potty, she once again pulled off my glasses.  She was no longer angry; but, the attempt at a mini-practice of asking me to take my glasses off, did not go well.

Now, as I enter her room, I find my Little Love quiet after a few minutes of screaming protest at being returned to her crib.  She looks up at me and reaches.  “Hold-y,” she cries out.

I scoop her up in my arms and carry her to the nearby recliner.  “Let’s talk,” I reply seriously.

“Did you grab the glasses off of mama’s face?”  I ask her.

“Yes!” she admits, enthusiastically.  I am pleased with her honesty and also a little amused at the way her tone doesn’t seem to acknowledge that there is anything wrong with her behavior.  We are learning around here, for sure.

We talk about the way we ask mama to take glasses off to look at the eyes hiding behind them.  We do not rip them from mama’s face.  We practice once again. 

I say, “Can you ask mama to take off her glasses?” 

She says, “Please.”   The way she uses the word is often more of a statement.  It is given that the glasses are indeed what she is interested in and she adds her polite “please” so she can proceed with the fun as soon as possible.

I take off my glasses and we commence the game that she often asks to play—me winking, blinking and batting my eyes at her.  After a few minutes, I stop and thank her for asking me to take off the glasses instead of grabbing them off my face.  I tell her I love her. 

She looks at me and says, “Grace and peace, Mama.”

These are the words that we share before she goes to bed at night, “Grace and peace from God to you, the grace and peace of Jesus.”  I stare back at her and wonder how she knows to use them now.  Has she overheard Jason and I using them with each other?  We don’t always, but often enough.
  

All that is in me softens at her words. 

They take me back to a Mars Hill podcast about Philippians 1:1-2 I listened to in 2008. It was a sermon that forever changed the way I thought of this greeting in most of the New Testament epistles.

Rob Bell* defined grace in a few ways from the Greek word charis.  The first definition he gave was “joy, pleasure, favor, gratification, and acceptance.”  The next was “a favor done without expectation of return.”  The last he shared was from Spiro Zodiakes “the absolutely free expression of the love of God finding its only motive in the bounty and benevolence of God.”

Next, he took some time to define the word “peace.”  The Greek is aranay.  It means every kind of good (similar to its Hebrew counterpart shalom).  In the Bible, it is used in the present tense form, with the exception of one instance where it is in the future tense.  So when we read it, we should read it: every kind of good right now.

He moved from defining the terms to expressing them as the people we are to be—people that speak grace and peace; people who need grace and peace; people who interrupt with grace and peace; people who live grace and peace.  We are to be known for being people who share and are committed to speaking God’s grace and peace to others, including ourselves, in everything. 

My little one is exactly right—grace and peace.  Isn’t this the way we should want every conflict to end?

Isn’t this the way Jesus answers us when we come surrendered and trust him to take all that we have done wrong and lay it before the cross?  He brings His resurrection life and offers us grace and peace.

She offers an invitation to lay this time of conflict behind us with every kind of good right now and full of the free expression of the love of God, full of joy, favor and acceptance. 

Who can resist such an offer?

I touch her cheek, ever so gently, and say, “Grace and peace, Little Love.”

***

Grace and peace be ours in abundance as we respond in all things (especially conflict) and to everyone we meet with the grace and peace of Jesus.  May we find that we speak His life and love to everyone we meet and are filled to overflowing with the gift that we share.

Jessica :)



P.S.  In thinking about grace and peace this week I have found myself humming along to this Jill Phillips song that became a favorite of mine during the early morning drives when I was headed to work in the first couple of months we lived in Utah.  May you listen and find yourself clinging to the grace and peace that comes through Jesus.  If you really like it you might consider adding it to your library.  (Just so you know...I don't actually know Jill Phillips.  I have not been asked to promote her music.  I just believe that if I enjoy an artist, you should support them!  And...I would have embedded the video, but that feature doesn't seem to be working for me today! The video will go into the post, but not appear in any of the previews I have done...Sorry about that!)

*Admittedly, Rob Bell has been a rather controversial figure in the Christian community for awhile now.  I don't believe or necessarily agree with everything he has written or taught.  However, the series on Philippians is one of the best sermon series I have listened to.  As with any speaker, teacher, author it is important to thoughtfully consider what they teach in light of what the Bible says. 

Isaiak!

I pull her out of her seat at the table and set her on the ground as the next song begins to play off my phone. 

My Little Love runs into the next room as the words begin, “Isaiah 6:1-3.” 

“Isaiak!” she squeals, running back towards me. 

(She may or may not have Isaiah the prophet crossed with baby Isaac who we read about last night.  Or perhaps, it is Isaiah 6 she is trying to say.  I am not totally sure.  I smile at her.) 

“Yes.  Isaiah 6,” I affirm. 

I run downstairs to move some laundry over while she runs around on the wood floors—exploring, dancing, repeating the location of the verses in the song over and over.  “Isaiak.  Isaiak.  Isaiak.”   

The song plays on. 

“In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord, sitting upon a throne high and lifted up; and the train of his robe filled the temple.  Above him stood the seraphim, each had six wings: With two he covered his face, with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew.  And one called to another and said:

“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts;
    the whole earth is full of his glory.”

-Isaiah6:1-3 (ESV) 

When she hears the word “Holy” she stops. 
  

It has been a word that she has been using for weeks or maybe even months now.  Holy and beloved.  Silent night, holy night.  She hears it and usually enters into her own moment of calling out, “Holy.  Holy.  Holy.” 

She sings “holy" at the table.

She sings “holy” while she plays.

She sings “holy” in her car seat.

She sings “holy” in the middle of the grocery store.  (This one surprised me.  But sure enough, the words to the music, as we rolled through the baking aisle in Meijer searching for food coloring, were saying just that.)

She sings “holy” as she lies in my arms before bed. 

I am amazed by this Little Love.  The way she is so observant and attentive causes me to pause.  As she begins to sing “Holy,” once again, with such earnestness and joy, I stop.  I don’t want to miss it! 

The God she sings about is holy.   

This moment we are living right now, holy.  It is a chance to live worship. 

And this holy God?  He calls me his chosen one, holy and beloved. 

Something in my heart changes in these moments.  I can’t help but think of Moses standing before the burning bush as God says, “Take off your sandals, for where you are standing is holy ground”(Exodus 3:5).

I can’t help but smile.  I can’t help but join her in this chorus:   

“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts;
    the whole earth is full of his glory.” 

Because He is holy.  This is a moment to worship.  This moment is one in which I am invited to put on love. 

And so I do. 

***

Grace and peace be ours in abundance as we stop to embrace each moment as one to be lived worshipping the Holy One,  humbled to be called God’s holy and beloved children, and standing on holy ground. 

Jessica :)  

P.S.  Family Seeds Worship is wonderful.  It is Scripture set to music.  We usually listen at breakfast to begin the day off with God's Word.  We do more if my Little Love asks throughout the day, which she often does.  By listening she is memorizing Scripture and she doesn't even realize she is doing it.  I love that she is hiding God's word in her heart with such joy.

Freedom Calls

I wrote a poem in response to reading Isaiah 25 a few months back.  The joy and freedom seem especially appropriate to me for this Easter season.  

“The unassailable fortifications of your walls He will bring down, lay low and cast to the ground, even to the dust”  Isaiah 25:12  

I peek out from behind the citadel

In hopeful wonder, I hear His words:

“Let’s break down the walls!

Come to the feast!

(A place where the fear, the schedules, the life, the friendships

                are handed over to One who knows the way to thrive.)

Come eat! 

Come drink!

Come LIVE! 

Come enjoy! 

Come trust me with all things—the cares, the woes, the joys and sorrows, the dreams!”

Could there really be a place for me

At such a table, so full and inviting?

I hear Him now,

Freedom calls.

He says,

“Come out!”  

I pause and call,

“What if I can’t—

The locks, rusty and old. 

Will you…

Can you break me out like a maid trapped in a fairy tale?”

“Oh yes!”

He responds.

“The stones will roll at my command.”

“Then break away!

I want to sit with you at your table today!”

I say with longing delight.

A voice rumbles like thunder

The walls!

They fall down!

He is running toward me.

I am running toward Him.

We meet in His wide open arms.

He holds me close and whispers

Of the journey ahead

The way out through the rubble all around.

“Stay close!  Walk near! 

There will be nothing to fear

Though the way may be treacherous all ‘round.

In freedom, now walk!

Follow me, Dear.

You’ll know the way by My path of Light.

Ever closer you’ll shine because you are Mine.

A beacon to draw others near.

We’ll be a winsome, formidable pair

Speak to them of freedom and peace. 

Invite them to the feast.

It will be a lavish banquet—

A wedding celebration.

The guests once Lost in darkness, now Found in Light.

Those once Least, greeted joyously in places of Honor.”

“It sounds so marvelous.”

I muse.

We’ll tell the story of Love.

Then we’ll dance,

Him and me.

Evermore and evermore.

***

Grace and peace be ours in abundance as we allow Christ to cause the walls of pain and hurt and sin to fall down.  May we find Him holding us steady and with Him freedom that is full of love.  May we walk with Him sharing the story of Love He has written on our hearts.

Jessica :)

P.S.  The really fun photo is courtesy of my husband and his trip to Krakow, Poland.  It is a photo from his tour of Wawel Castle.

Showered With Love

When I was first asked to pull together a list of people to celebrate with me I was at a loss. 

Family and a small circle of friends whom I do life with came to mind.  The list was small.

My far away heart family that has now become a little scattered (though our stories together all began in Utah) crossed my mind.  My heart always aches a little bit for them—joyful, sorrowful, and filled with loving prayers for their good.  It would be impossible for any of these to come. 

Yet, as I thought of these loved ones, I pulled out my address book and looked through to try to capture the many that have walked through different stages and events of life with me as friends, mentors and encouragers.  The list grew. 

I worried.  Would they wonder why I had invited them?  Would they want to come?

So as they all began trickling through the door on Sunday I was a bit overwhelmed by everything—the amazing food that had been labored over with love; so many dear ones in one place; so many gifts.  It felt like too much.  I had a hard time receiving.

How does one begin to drink all of it in?  How does one receive such a precious gift?

I was being showered with so much love.

I felt so undeserving of all this time, all these friends, all this love. 

I felt like I would burst from it all. 

(Truth be told, I did eventually—held close and heaving—late at night, long after it was all over.)

Now, I look back, reflect and realize a little bit more in my heart what I already know with my mind.

Grace is never earned or deserved.  It is a gift.

This shower, the people and presents—they were all a gift of love.  Grace.

The crazy part to me is that the blessing of love these dear ones poured out upon me and my little life of grace was just a small example of the way God loves and extends his grace to me. 

His love is wider and longer and higher and deeper than I can fully grasp.

I will keep trying to grasp it though. 

Perhaps the way we recieve is by living changed—bursting to overflowing with tears and joy and love and life again and again.

***

Grace and peace be ours in abundance as we receive grace as God’s gift to us.  As we are humbled by the way we don’t deserve any of it may our lives be lived overflowing with gratitude and filled with love.

Jessica :)

Acquitted

I just want to share the song I’ve been singing this week as the church remembers the scandalous beauty of God’s love for us—Christ’s death and resurrection.  It is a song by Jeremy Riddle and it's called Acquitted. 

Blessings to you as you remember His death and celebrate His resurrection.

***

Grace and peace be ours in abundance as we receive this gift of love.

Jessica :)

Wholly His, Holy Life

“John is seeing the holiness of God manifested in the life of the church as it lives in the world.”

When I read it in the Revelation study I’ve been working my way through something is stirred—a memory opens up. 

Didn’t I pen something like that—living holy and others seeing God?  I wonder as I run to the kitchen for an ice pack.

When I finish reading, I search through files of poetry from a few years back and find it—a few untitled lines, written in June 2011.

As I read them, I begin to remember something else.  These lines were inspired by Scripture and I was stirred enough to encourage my small group with the thoughts I had been thinking about. 

I wonder.  What was that Scripture?

I think I was reading through Hebrews or James about then.

I pull up my email and go searching through old sent mail.  After a few dead ends, I find it, a line of Scripture and a few wonderings.

  

“Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.  See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many”  Hebrews 12:14-15

I wondered to my friends. 

Is it when we live life wholly His that we live holy lives?

And in living this way, wholly His, that through the things we say and the things we do, we pour forth the grace of God so “no one misses the grace of God”?

I read it and smile.

This.  This is the way we are meant to live in this world.  The more I read through Revelation, the more I become convinced of this.  When we live wholly His, we live manifesting the holiness of God to the world around us.

The words of Robert Mulholland, about the bowl imagery I’ve been reading through, come to my mind once again:

“To be part of the community of God’s people means—to become part of God’s response to the rebellion; to be drawn into the very being and nature of God so as to be shaped in the image and likeness of God; to be thrust out in the midst of Fallen Babylon to participate in God’s costly, redemptive response to the rebellion.  The vision portrays this meaning in the bowls, which, on the one hand are the prayers of the saints that open them to the shaping presence of God, and, on the other hand, being filled with the presence of God, are then poured out into the life of the world” (p.97)

I am struck by the way the lines I penned two years ago are in such alignment with what I’ve been reading about today, the bowls.  I would never have imagined it.

When I am wholly given to God

A life of grace pours forth—

Light, a shining beacon in this dark world

Mirror spilling out radiance

Present reminder of His glory.

A surrendered vessel

I live holy

And the world sees the Lord.

What a gift He has given to me by leading me back to these words of poetry today.

They are a gift He is reminding me to live--wholly His, a holy life-- as a surrendered vessel (a bowl filled with the presence of God and poured out) so others around me do not miss the grace of God.

***

Grace and peace be ours in abundance as we live wholly God’s.  In this may we find that we live holy—pouring out the grace of God on everyone we meet.  When they encounter us may others see the Lord.

Jessica :)



Scripture Reads

It is an activity I have often led in leadership trainings and participated in while on retreats. 

Often it is called lectio divina. Yet, tonight as I sit at Last Wednesday, Chuck and Andrea don’t call it that.  Instead, they strip the practice down to its core and call it what it is—listening to God through His Word.

They teach.

He is always speaking through His Word. 

“For the word of God is alive and active.  Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”  Hebrews 4:12

As we read Scripture, Scripture is reading us, they say.

They challenge.

Do we take time to stop and listen to God in His Word?

They lead.

As an auditorium of many, we stop to practice. 

We read and listen for God to speak.

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for he who promised is faithful.  And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:23-25

As I read, it stands out to me like words bolded on the page, calling out to my heart: 

“Hold unswervingly to the hope” and “he who promised is faithful.”

In the minutes that follow I am invited to consider what God might be trying to say to me.  I read the passage again and the context provides the key to what I think God is trying to tell me.

I don’t really like it.  This is about my attitude, my bad attitude.  I can hold to it or I can hold unswervingly to my hope trusting that he who promises is faithful.

I sit in the midst of an unwelcome confrontation.  Will I receive what I think God is speaking to me?

At the moment, I think I am very happy with my bad attitude.  Will I let it go?

Chuck challenges us to “share what you think you heard with someone from your tribe and act on it” before we go to bed tonight.  He has already shared that it is often in sharing what we think we hear that we receive confirmation (“Yes that sounds like God based on His Word and character"), correction (“No that’s not God” or further insight), and encouragement.

I am not looking forward to this sharing, but I am determined to do it. 

On my way home, I try to brainstorm ways of avoiding this assignment altogether.  However, in the end, I realize I will either do it or not, with this task there is no half-way.

When Jason asks about Last Wednesday I dodge, preferring to listen to him share why he wasn’t able to come late like he hoped.

We carry on with what is left of our evening—comparing baby items online—until I finally work up the courage to share what I think I heard God say to me.

In this, I pour out what I’m ashamed to admit to him—my bad attitude spilling out real and ugly.  Somehow it seems even uglier when it is out in the open.  I think I’m beginning to recognize this attitude for what it really is—toxic.  When I think of this, I’m not quite so happy with it anymore.  

Still, I hold to it defiantly—waiting. 

I am waiting for the words of correction to painfully whip across my heart. 

Instead, my husband gracefully draws me close and speaks.  Far from stinging censure, his words are gentle, but pointed.  His words bring the perspective I need.  They help me see what I could not see before.  What he says changes everything.  

All at once, I am broken for the way I have been rigid, inflexible and critical.  I have been trying to control this situation and in doing so I have been everything but loving. 

After I take it all in, I turn toward Jason and apologize for how I have made things difficult for him.  The tears trickle as I tell him I want to be a helpful partner in the midst of this situation.  I tell him I want to respond compassionately and live trusting the Faithful One to work out all I hope for in the midst of something I am unable to control.

In the midst of this, he affirms me and gives me encouragement.

I look into his kind eyes and realize that my dread is gone.  The toxins have been drawn out.  I feel free somehow.  I find I am softened at heart and ready to respond to all that God has spoken to me.

I wonder at it all.

I walk upstairs to get ready for bed thankful and lifting up praise for the beginning of His transformation in me.

***

Grace and peace be ours in abundance as we listen to God—in His Word—seek counsel from our tribe, and follow where He leads.  May we find that He is good and works for ours.

Jessica :)

The Way Everlasting

It is there. 

It is somewhere in the midst of seeking how He is calling me to surrender that I realize His goodness.

It is in the way He is calling me to create time and space for Him this Lent that I realize that He cares for my every need.

The things He calls me to are not burdensome.  They are freeing. 

For it is out of examine, in this space, they come.

He has been with me here—considering heart and mind.

He has watched as I name the ugly—jealousy, selfishness, and fear.

He has seen me recognize the beautiful—joy, love, and hope.

He has been near as I identify exhaustion.

He is calling me towards freedom.

He says to me, “Jessica, surrender the places of fear and walk courageously beside Me.  Trust Me and watch Me work.”

He says to me, “Jessica, see how exhausted you are?  Make time to rest.  Rest in My presence.”

I receive these words with gratitude.

I am overwhelmed by His love for me. 

And I wonder.  How does he know? 

How does he know just how to meet my every need, in every season of this life?

I think of the Psalm I committed to memory long ago. 

It used to hang in colorful letters, behind glitter, shimmering on my bedroom wall.  

He knows me.

I wrote it so I would remember.

I consider the final words of the Psalm:

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”  Psalm 139:23-24

It is in this remembering these words I realize that Lent is learning to walk in the way everlasting. 

He has searched and tested. 

Now I will let him lead on—to repentance, to wholeness, to an abundantly good life.

***

Grace and peace be ours in abundance as we follow God’s leading this Lent.  May we discover the way of Christ is toward repentance, walking in a new way.  May we delight in the freedom it brings as we learn to live an abundant life.

Jessica :)