Scripture Reads

It is an activity I have often led in leadership trainings and participated in while on retreats. 

Often it is called lectio divina. Yet, tonight as I sit at Last Wednesday, Chuck and Andrea don’t call it that.  Instead, they strip the practice down to its core and call it what it is—listening to God through His Word.

They teach.

He is always speaking through His Word. 

“For the word of God is alive and active.  Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”  Hebrews 4:12

As we read Scripture, Scripture is reading us, they say.

They challenge.

Do we take time to stop and listen to God in His Word?

They lead.

As an auditorium of many, we stop to practice. 

We read and listen for God to speak.

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for he who promised is faithful.  And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:23-25

As I read, it stands out to me like words bolded on the page, calling out to my heart: 

“Hold unswervingly to the hope” and “he who promised is faithful.”

In the minutes that follow I am invited to consider what God might be trying to say to me.  I read the passage again and the context provides the key to what I think God is trying to tell me.

I don’t really like it.  This is about my attitude, my bad attitude.  I can hold to it or I can hold unswervingly to my hope trusting that he who promises is faithful.

I sit in the midst of an unwelcome confrontation.  Will I receive what I think God is speaking to me?

At the moment, I think I am very happy with my bad attitude.  Will I let it go?

Chuck challenges us to “share what you think you heard with someone from your tribe and act on it” before we go to bed tonight.  He has already shared that it is often in sharing what we think we hear that we receive confirmation (“Yes that sounds like God based on His Word and character"), correction (“No that’s not God” or further insight), and encouragement.

I am not looking forward to this sharing, but I am determined to do it. 

On my way home, I try to brainstorm ways of avoiding this assignment altogether.  However, in the end, I realize I will either do it or not, with this task there is no half-way.

When Jason asks about Last Wednesday I dodge, preferring to listen to him share why he wasn’t able to come late like he hoped.

We carry on with what is left of our evening—comparing baby items online—until I finally work up the courage to share what I think I heard God say to me.

In this, I pour out what I’m ashamed to admit to him—my bad attitude spilling out real and ugly.  Somehow it seems even uglier when it is out in the open.  I think I’m beginning to recognize this attitude for what it really is—toxic.  When I think of this, I’m not quite so happy with it anymore.  

Still, I hold to it defiantly—waiting. 

I am waiting for the words of correction to painfully whip across my heart. 

Instead, my husband gracefully draws me close and speaks.  Far from stinging censure, his words are gentle, but pointed.  His words bring the perspective I need.  They help me see what I could not see before.  What he says changes everything.  

All at once, I am broken for the way I have been rigid, inflexible and critical.  I have been trying to control this situation and in doing so I have been everything but loving. 

After I take it all in, I turn toward Jason and apologize for how I have made things difficult for him.  The tears trickle as I tell him I want to be a helpful partner in the midst of this situation.  I tell him I want to respond compassionately and live trusting the Faithful One to work out all I hope for in the midst of something I am unable to control.

In the midst of this, he affirms me and gives me encouragement.

I look into his kind eyes and realize that my dread is gone.  The toxins have been drawn out.  I feel free somehow.  I find I am softened at heart and ready to respond to all that God has spoken to me.

I wonder at it all.

I walk upstairs to get ready for bed thankful and lifting up praise for the beginning of His transformation in me.

***

Grace and peace be ours in abundance as we listen to God—in His Word—seek counsel from our tribe, and follow where He leads.  May we find that He is good and works for ours.

Jessica :)

Open Eyes, Open Heart

This week…

 “I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe.”

Ephesians 1:18-19 NASB

May He open your eyes to His goodness—in a word, in a moment, in creation, in other people.

May your heart be open to receive, with joy, these gifts.

May He open your eyes to new truths in His Word.

May your heart be open to receive them.  May they sink down into your heart that they might be lived.

May He open your eyes anew to the hope that is yours in Christ.

May your heart be set upon Him, the Resurrected One, who lives in grace and truth.

May He open your eyes to the people and the opportunities around you.

May your heart be open to meeting these real needs with your time and tenderness.

And as your eyes are open to Him, and your heart receptive to Him…

May you discover the fruit of the Spirit, that strangely beautiful fruit that is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, is being birthed in you.

***

Grace and peace be ours in abundance as we embrace Him this week and all that He has for us.

Jessica :)

P.S.  There are several really interesting translations of this passage that stirred in me a little something different upon reading them.  I decided to stick with the version that inspired the post. However, if you have time to sit with them and enjoy they are worth a read.  The Voice.  The Message.

"In Emphatic Yes"

A few weeks ago a man who once was my 4^th Grade Sunday School Teacher passed away.  He was a wonderful artist, teacher, and servant-leader.   I never knew him really well, but I admired the way he sought to live his life honoring Christ.  My husband (Jason) and I attended his memorial service.  The thing that has stuck with me since the service is the prayer his daughter prayed about living like her father.  She said that as they read Scripture and prayed while he was in the hospital he would raise up his one good hand and say, “Yes!”  He was claiming the Good News, Jesus, as best he could in that moment.  He lived his life that way, saying yes.  And he touched so many lives because God worked through him as he said yes to living in loving obedience—all the many stories shared testified to that.  She prayed that we too would say “Yes” to Christ like he did. 

                This blog has been a long time in coming.  What I mean to say is that I have been taking a long time to be obedient in beginning.  I have been wrestling with God since the fall.  First, it was "What in the world will this be about?"  He answered with many mornings of waking to ideas for stories of becoming in small moments— through Scripture, disciplines, books, and everyday experiences.  Next, it was "How can I be sure this isn’t me?"  And my yearly Christmas letter was His response.  I write a letter every year to our friends and family, it shares something of our year, but is more importantly written to lead people in considering Christ during Advent.  It is normal to hear back from people in the form of their own letters and cards.  This year I received emails, Facebook messages, had conversations with friends and received feedback from Jason’s co-workers (over the course of months)—all about the challenge to embrace the change God might be calling them toward.  It was so unexpected…so very like God. 

The next task was to begin.  My dear sister-in-law, knowing of my blogging thoughts, gave me a copy of Blogging for Dummies for my Thanksgiving birthday.  I began to pull it out off and on through this time of wrestling and into early 2012.  I thought it would help me think things through and begin.  And it was helpful.  I had thought through much of what was shared and was feeling pretty good, until I got to the technical part.  Then, I became totally overwhelmed by how much I did not know and how much work it might be to learn.  (In case you haven't been reading between the lines, this is basically code for FEAR.)  So I didn’t begin.  I stalled.

My wise husband lovingly confronted me about a month ago as I sat on his lap saying, “You told me once we moved you would write or you would get a job.  You’ve done neither.”  Ouch.  After a few teary minutes of letting me have a good cry as I shared how incompetent I felt, he encouraged me by saying he could help.  I began being real with the fear I had been hiding from and real about what I needed to do to begin.   So I slowly began preparing some pieces about me and the purpose of this space.  (Again, if you’re not reading between the lines…“slowly” is what you do when you’re still operating under fear…though I’d like to blame it on the quilt I’ve been working on).  Then we set up an account a week ago and I’ve been trying to figure it out.  Now, I’m writing this first post, even though all is not as I would like it to be.

I’ve been reading 1 John lately.  It’s a quick read.  I would definitely recommend it.  This is what 1 John 5:3 says:

“This is love for God: to keep his commands.”

In this first post I’m saying “Yes” to what the Holy Spirit has commanded me to do.  This is love for God.  Isn’t that exciting?  When we do what God asks us to do, it demonstrates our love for Christ. 

1 John isn’t the only place in Scripture where God talks about obedience demonstrating love.  The Bible has many references to the link between the two.  This is what Adam and Eve failed to do in Genesis 3—trust God, love God—by failing to obey the command to eat from any tree in the garden but the tree of knowledge of good and evil. 
I fail to love often.  Much of the time, I fail to follow because of fear.  I’m learning the lesson that “perfect love casts out fear”.  So I’m saying “yes,” despite fear, trusting that God will tear it down as I go.  He has been faithful to do so in the past.  He will do so in the future.

I’ve been listening to the album “Invisible Empires” by Sara Groves lately.  I recommend it.  The whole thing is just wonderful.  There is a song called “Open My Hands” that I’ve been singing a lot as I go through the day.  The chorus says:

“I will open my hands, will open my heart

I will open my hands, will open my heart

I’m nodding my head in emphatic yes

To all that You have for me.”

This post is my emphatic yes.  Where do you need to say yes?   Won’t you join me in singing?

Grace and peace be yours in abundance as we become less fearful and more obedient as we experience the love of Christ who transforms!


Jessica :)